10 Christmas Movies For People Who Hate Christmas

Christmas is that time of year when we talk about giving to others less fortunate, goodwill to others, peace on earth, and then trample strangers in Wal-Mart for that last toy on the shelf that your kid will be bored with in an hour. Hollywood has tried to divert us from that trend by offering tons of movies each year about “the real meaning of Christmas,” which is either about estranged family members coming together, or how the solemn curmudgeon really has a heart of gold, or kids trying to get their divorced family members together, or how it’s the time of for miracles. There’s also the latest variation of A Christmas Carol. And there are those who actually say it’s about the birth of Jesus.

But what if you’re tired of the usual Christmas fare? Maybe (gasp!) you don’t even like Christmas. What can you do? Embrace your inner Scrooge, cry “Bah Humbug!” and try watching one of these Christmas movies for people who hate Christmas listed in no particular order.

1.       Lethal Weapon

Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” plays over the opening credits as we see the L.A. cityscape at night. Then a half-naked woman jumps to her death and we’re on the way to meet family man Murtaugh and burned out Riggs for the first time. This film launched the successful franchise, and features a climactic bare-hands showdown between Mel Gibson and Gary Busey back when both were not train wrecks. But the Christmas setting takes a backseat to all the 80s buddy cop action giving us the chance to witness the glory of a time when cell phones still came in portable bags.

2.       Die Hard

After Warner Brothers' success with Lethal Weapon in 1987, Twentieth Century Fox just the next year released this classic action story about… okay, with four sequels everyone knows what Die Hard is about. And yes, it’s set at Christmas (also in Los Angeles). Instead of showcasing Brenda Lee, Bruce Willis arrives at the Nakatomi Building listening to Run-D.M.C.’s “Christmas in Hollis” (a great Christmas song for people who don’t like Christmas songs, but that’s another story). There’s plenty of action and humor in the original flick including Argyle the limo-driver’s last line: “If this is their idea of Christmas, I gotta be here for New Year’s!”

3.       Friday After Next

Craig and Day Day (Ice Cube and Mike Epps) are back in this funny sequel to Next Friday. This time they have their own place and have jobs as mall security guards. When a burglar dressed as Santa Claus robs them on Christmas Eve they are determined to catch the criminal and get their stolen property (mainly their weed). Needless to say, hilarious hijinks ensue. The movie has a wonderful supporting cast including Terry Crews (The Expendables franchise, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) as an overly affectionate newly-released ex-con; Katt Williams as Money Mike, a pimp-ish store owner; and John Witherspoon, who returns for as Mr. Jones, who helps his brother make barbeque so good it makes you wanna slap your mama.

4.       Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Okay, this movie really isn’t that good. The most notorious thing about it is that TV ads for the film were pulled and parents protested outside movie theaters until the film was pulled after only two weeks. Why? Because the murderer was dressed like Santa Claus. The TV ads featured Saint Nick with an ax and that was just too much for some folks. Sure if the killer had a white-painted rubber William Shatner mask or a hockey mask, that was okay, but they drew the line at Santa. Yes, things have changed a lot in 30 years. The movie is about a boy left orphaned after a man dressed as Santa Claus kills his parents. He is put in an orphanage and snaps so he dresses as Santa Claus and kills people. Strangely, the movie went on to produce a few sequels.

5.       Silent Night (2012)

This killer-at-large-during-Christmas movie is actually pretty good, especially if you like low-budget horror films and Malcolm McDowell. The story is very familiar: Guy dressed as Santa goes around the town killing people. However, the focus isn’t on the killer as much as it is about the deputy (Jaime King) trying to bring him down. McDowell seems like he has a lot of fun as the town’s sheriff. Donal Logue has a small role as a smart-assed traveling Santa, which apparently is a profession.

6.       Wind Chill (2007)

Wind Chill is probably one of the best horror films set at Christmas you will find. There are no killers dressed as Santa Claus, no over-the-top bloody mutilations, no axes or knives although it does use Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” very ominously. So what makes this movie scary? It’s a psychological thriller that almost literally turns into something else. Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes (as “Girl” and “Guy,” respectively) play strangers sharing a car ride to Delaware from college over Christmas break. By answering an ad on a public bulletin board, Blunt accepts a drive home from a young man who knows way more about her than he should. When they turn on a snow-covered road as a “shortcut”, the two soon find themselves in a situation that finds them working together to survive, and the snow is the least of their problems.

7.       Any Doctor Who Christmas Special

If Lethal Weapon and Die Hard warned us of staying in L.A. during Christmas, Doctor Who shares the same trepidation about London. Seriously, the BBC science fiction series usually has a Christmas episode apart from their usual season run, and they’re often stand alone episodes so even people who aren’t familiar with the show shouldn’t feel too lost. You’ll find intrigue, laughs, and even the occasional good feeling. Past episodes have guest-starred Kylie Minogue, Claire Skinner, and Michael Gambon.

8.       Bad Santa

Bad Santa is the perfect movie for this list. A thief and his accomplice (Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox) pose as Santa Claus and his elf helper targeting department stores during the holidays. Everything goes well until their latest mark’s security guard suspects them of their plan. Hilarious and definitely not for kids. Check out the unrated version, which the DVD’s cover refers to as Badder Santa.

9.       Trading Places

Eddie Murphy’s second film is a modern spin on the classic Prince and the Pauper theme. Murphy plays a conman who is the victim of a secret bet between commodities brokers the Duke Brothers (Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche) to see if Murphy can be just as successful as brokerage wunderkind Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd). Soon Winthorpe finds out what has happened, and then things really get good. Although this film is set during Christmas it climaxes over New Year’s, and the New Year party aboard the train with Murphy, Aykroyd, and Jamie Lee Curtis in disguises to fool a Duke Brothers spy (Paul Gleason) is not to be missed! Definitely one of the best films of the 80s.

10.  A Christmas Story

Okay, this may be a somewhat traditional Christmas movie, but you gotta love this story of little Ralphie, who only wants an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle. This movie has it all: the Triple-Dog Dare, the Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring, the fishnet stocking leg lamp (“It’s a major award!”), and the trip to see Santa. The movie is based on the novel In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd, who narrates the film as Ralphie as an adult, and also has a cameo as a father waiting in the line for Santa who tells Ralphie “the line ends here. It begins there.” Definitely a movie to watch during the holidays even if you don’t like Christmas.

The End of an Era?

The three remaining video stores in Montgomery announced Tuesday they were closing permanently. One of them announced a week ago it was going out of business while the other two would remain open, but that changed Monday when Blockbuster cut the computer systems for all three stores. Now, the capitol city of one of these 50 United States will no longer have a video rental store.

My wife and I learned of this yesterday when we decided to rent The Incredible Hulk with Edward Norton. We’d seen it before, it came up in conversation over lunch, so we went across the street when we finished eating only to learn the store was selling everything (cash only). Has Netflix and Redbox put such a stranglehold on the video market as to close physical stores and become the only game in town? On the surface, it would seem so. One of my friends who was a manager at one of the local Blockbusters said he had six paychecks to bounce. The local stores had not ordered any “new” releases in weeks, despite emails and ads announcing they had these movies 28 days before Netflix or Redbox.

I currently subscribe to Netflix, and have rented from Redbox, but neither compare with an off-the-cuff decision to rent a movie for the night. Our Netflix plan allows two movies at one time with many available to watch on computer (which doesn’t work for a family). So if we really wanted to watch The Incredible Hulk badly enough, I can put it in my Netflix queue and wait two days after we send one of our current DVDs back. Not a bad deal, except there are movies lined up that we haven’t seen before that we’d rather see instead; if the choice was between either waiting for Hulk or paying $2 for a few days, we’d go with the latter.

But that is not a choice now. No longer can we go down the street, see what’s available, and come home with a movie for the night. Instead we have to either plan ahead accordingly (my stepdaughter is out of town every two weeks so some movie time finagling is required) or find a Redbox, which specializes in only new releases with a few exceptions. Is this the future of movie rental stores across the country?

It’s amazing how availability and price (Netflix’s queues and price plans, and Redbox’s $1 per night) triumph over immediate satisfaction with a knowledgeable staff. For example, at this writing, two movies, The Tourist and Black Swan, were released on DVD this week. I received an email from Blockbuster today (a perk from joining their Rewards program that I will no longer be able to enjoy although we paid the yearly fee) proudly declaring “We’ve Got It 28 days before Netflix or Redbox!” This time two weeks ago, or even last week, I could go into the store and come home with one of several new releases, and see why these movies were as good (or not as good) as some say they are. Now, we’ll have to wait 28 days, and I can imagine the line will be long. How convenient…

But isn’t technology supposed to allow for progress and convenience? Aren’t these options supposed to make things easier? Am I just too spoiled, a product modern American conveniences already in place? I don’t think so. What is the purpose of releasing a movie unless it’s not meant to be seen? Why do you think video stores order so many copies of one title? Because they are aware of the concept of supply and demand. Can a little Redbox do that? There are only so many discs that will fit inside that vending machine. And apparently Netflix struggles with it as well since so many new releases are accompanied by the notice “Very Long Wait.” Ho-hum. Then I guess that’s what we’ll do: wait.

However, I for one do not believe everything is worth waiting for. For example, let’s go back to The Tourist and Black Swan. I saw Black Swan in the theater, enjoyed it, and would like to see it again. I heard The Tourist was terrible, but Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are great actors, so can the movie be that bad? I could rent it and find out… but not today. Not for at least 28 days. Will I want to see it again in about a month? Probably not. I’m not that curious about it. Maybe if it shows up in Redbox’s list, I may spend a buck on it. And there are too many movies in my Netflix queue that I haven’t seen that have priority right now.

So if my family would like to unwind with a movie tonight, what’s it going to be? Nothing from Netflix that hasn’t been preordered and sent to my home. Nothing from Redbox unless it’s a new release that seems mildly interesting, but according to their promotional emails, nothing does; and, I won’t be standing outside to see if they happen to have an older release from their slim selection. And I won’t be talking to any store-management friends with any new recommendations or any classic or obscure titles I may have missed. Unfortunately, that is no longer an option.

Fuqua's Finest

Brooklyn’s Finest debuted at the #8 spot on March 5, 2010. The next week it remained at the #8 spot. The third week of its release it dropped out of the Top 10 as the slots were filled with Alice in Wonderland, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Bounty Hunter, Repo Men, She’s Out of My League, and still, Avatar. This is a travesty. I saw Brooklyn’s Finest three days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it.

The film is directed by Antoine Fuqua, who directed 2001’s Training Day, which garnered an Academy Award for Denzel Washington. In the nine years since Mr. Fuqua has, regrettably, given us some lackluster movies such as Tears of the Sun, King Arthur and Shooter. Only Mr. Fuqua can say why he made these movies after the success of Training Day. But Brooklyn’s Finest is on a level all by itself. It is Antoine Fuqua’s best movie to date, and in my humble opinion, is better than any movie playing in American theaters. Before I discuss what Brooklyn’s Finest is, let me take a few moments to say what it is not. The film is not another rehash of cops and drug dealers, a violent urban drama about how good guys have nothing while bad guys have everything. It goes beyond that and takes no easy way out.

The story focuses on three different cops and the toll that wearing the badge has on their lives. Ethan Hawke is Sal, a narcotics officer with five children and a pregnant wife expecting twins. Their house has wood mold, which threatens the life and lungs of his family, but Sal—a devoted Catholic—cannot even afford back rent, much less a new home to provide for the health of his wife and children. He is tempted beyond temptation to keep some of the drug money he and his team find on their raids. Sal redefines desperate.

Richard Gere plays Eddie, a 22-year veteran street cop, who only has seven days left on the force, and he can’t wait. He rationalizes his time not in years or even weeks, but in days. As he says, a day of robbery, a day of beatings, a day of rape; the cop has 22 years of days. Seven days never seemed so long. The first scene we have of Eddie is morning, when he wakes on his unsheeted mattress and no pillow; he sits up, waits, grabs a revolver, puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. Click. One more day on the streets of Brooklyn.

Don Cheadle is Tango, a cop so deep undercover that he has befriended both sides of the warring local drug gangs including Caz (Wesley Snipes), a dealer he met in prison years earlier while doing another undercover job. But Caz saved his life in prison, and Tango feels obliged to keep Caz safe on the streets. But Tango’s bosses want Caz, and if they get him Tango gets a promotion, a substantial raise and a desk job off the streets of Brooklyn.

Brooklyn’s Finest is a violent urban drama, but what separates it from the seemingly endless clones that fill video rental shelves is that nothing is glorified—including the drug dealers—and each character must make moral choices that are not easy. Sal is confronted with the fact that drug money gets caught up in the legal system and doesn't go to the cops who stopped it, who need it, who don’t make enough as public servants to provide for a family. Eddie does his job without thanks, and two decades of confronting the violence of the streets—more than 7,000 days worth—takes its toll physically and emotionally. Tango is torn between doing what is legally right and what is morally right. And by the end of the movie, all three of these cops will end up in the same apartment building in the middle of the night.

Most movies barely have one character as complex as the main characters in this film. This movie offers no easy answers; it does not try to answer them, and in my opinion that’s what makes the film appealing. The movie is exceptional on every level: Acting by Hawke, Gere, Cheadle and Snipes; the screenplay by Michael C. Martin and Fuqua’s direction. In fact, I was reminded several times of Crash (which also featured a wonderful performance by Cheadle), and that film won three Academy Awards including Best Picture of 2006. Brooklyn’s Finest will have been out on DVD several months by the time the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominate films and crew for the “Oscars.” Hopefully, they will remember this one.

What is Avatar?

av⋅a⋅tar [av-uh-tahr, av-uh-tahr] –noun
1. Hindu Mythology. the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god.
2. an embodiment or personification, as of a principle, attitude, or view of life.
3. Computers. a graphical image that represents a person, as on the Internet.

Dictionary.com UnabridgedBased on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.

Several people have asked me what my impressions of James Cameron’s new movie Avatar. A couple of them have been concerned about a message within the film. One person asked: “Isnt [sic] AVATAR an Envionmentalist(Green) Movie?” Another commented: “How much relation does it has [sic] with the "Gaia worship"? I heard it develops some "mother earth" stuff in it.” There so much to say about Cameron’s 2 hour 40 minute sci-fi spectacle—such as the $278 million dollars it made its first weekend, shattering all previous records; the four-year production schedule—that there is no way it can all be addressed here. Instead, I will offer a brief overview on the movie that everybody is talking about.

First of all, what is an “avatar?” This question is answered above and has more than one meaning. The most common use of the word today is closely associated with the internet; those little icons we put next to our pictures on Facebook, emails, video games, etc. are called avatars. The origin of the word, according to the Random House Dictionary, is a Sanskrit word avatāra, meaning “a passing down,” equiv. to ava (down) + -tāra (a passing over). According to the film’s website, an avatar is “a remotely-controlled biological body that can survive in the lethal air. These avatars are genetically engineered hybrids of human DNA mixed with the DNA from the inhabitants of Pandora… the Na’vi.”

So what happens? Here’s the Internet Movie Data Base’s synopsis: “When his brother is killed in battle, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully decides to take his place in a mission on the distant world of Pandora. There he learns of greedy corporate figurehead Parker Selfridge's intentions of driving off the native humanoid "Na'vi" in order to mine for the precious material scattered throughout their rich woodland. In exchange for the spinal surgery that will fix his legs, Jake gathers intel for the cooperating military unit spearheaded by gung-ho Colonel Quaritch, while simultaneously attempting to infiltrate the Na'vi people with the use of an "avatar" identity. While Jake begins to bond with the native tribe and quickly falls in love with the beautiful alien Neytiri, the restless Colonel moves forward with his ruthless extermination tactics, forcing the soldier to take a stand - and fight back in an epic battle for the fate of Pandora.”

Yes, James Cameron names the planet Pandora. Who was Pandora? According to Greek mythology, she was the first woman. Her name means “all gifted;” she was given gifts by the gods that would make her dangerous yet attractive to men, a name very appropriate to the imaginary home world of the Na’vi. Pandora is probably best known for opening the box that was to remain closed, and releasing all the ills that afflict mankind. The only one that remained was hope.

When watching the movie, I found myself drawing parallels from other films to this one such as Dances with Wolves, the Lord of the Rings, Return of the Jedi, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Star Wars as well as historical and political events. There’s even a love triangle. But that is not to say that Avatar is not an original movie; I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a movie quite like this one, especially in 3D. The technological accomplishments in the film are unparalleled. It is a science fiction movie. It’s a romance movie. It’s an action movie. It’s a sweeping epic. This movie has something to please almost everyone. However, this movie may not be to some people’s liking and for the same reason; because it is open to so many interpretations. Good movies refuse to be pigeon-holed and Avatar is a good movie. It gives us a chance to pull for the underdog, a theme Frank Capra developed in the 1930s.

Is it an Environmentalist movie? Environmentalists may say so. Does it worship Mother Earth (even though it takes place on an imaginary planet millions of light years away)? Some who worship the Earth may say so. As mentioned I found themes similar in Westerns, fantasy films, traditional science fiction, romance movies and the evening news. There are probably more if I considered them, but this is plenty. Avatar is what it is: great entertainment. When Peter Jackson was addressed with several issues regarding production of the filming of his massive Lord of the Rings trilogy, he responded with four words that I would use to summarize Avatar:

“It’s just a movie.”

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

(Brian Howe, Jennifer Blaire and friend)


From the company that brought you "Zombies of Mora Tau" and "Lawrence of Arabia"…

Dr. Paul Armstrong (Larry Blamire) is a scientist who likes to do science. He is accompanied by his wife Betty (Fay Masterson), the wife of a scientist, to study a meteor containing the rarest of all radioactive elements, atmosphereum.

Dr. Roger Fleming (Brian Howe) is searching for Cadavra Cave in hopes of resurrecting the fabled Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. There is one thing he needs to accomplish his mission: atmosphereum.

Aliens Kro-Bar (Andrew Parks) and his wife Lattis (Susan McConnell) from the planet Marva have crash-landed on Earth. Only one thing can restore their ship: atmosphereum.

Welcome to director Larry Blamire’s tribute to the horror/science fiction films of the 1950s, Columbia Pictures' The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. The supreme shock sensation of our time—the day the Earth was disemboweled in terror—was filmed in the miracle of Skeletorama, the new screen wonder of the age! At least, according to the DVD’s cover.

Blamire and crew do something that is very difficult to accomplish: act well and appear to act badly. And they are indeed acting like they are acting badly. The cast is experienced: Masterson worked with Stanley Kubrick in Eyes Wide Shut; Howe with Steven Spielberg in Catch Me If You Can; Parks with Mike Newell in Donnie Brasco. Every cheesy line is delivered in perfect time, or sometimes a little late—if that is what the scene calls for.

Lost Skeleton captures the feel of those B-movies from the 1950s. It is in black-and-white (shot on digital and converted) with stock movie music from Valentino Productions. Blamire even filmed in famed Bronson Canyon, a section of Los Angeles’ Griffith Park where several movies and TV shows have been filmed including The Searchers, Batman, Star Trek, Killers From Space, Earth vs. The Spider, and Teenagers from Outer Space. And of course, there's the title character, the Lost Skeleton. And yes, you can see the strings. Just like you're supposed to.

In addition to the three storylines mentioned above are a loose mutant and a woman made from four different forest animals named Animala (Jennifer Blaire). Of course, Animala is a result of the Transmutatron, which looks eerily like a caulk gun. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is a comedy of the rarest order. It is a spoof and yet also an homage. Fans of the genre will appreciate the effort put forth by the cast and crew; it works nicely.

Lost Skeleton is available on DVD from Columbia TriStar Pictures, and is chock-full of bonus features that viewers will love: a retro-style trailer, a classic cartoon entitled “Skeleton Frolic,” two audio commentary tracks (one by cast, the other by crew), a Q&A session at the American Cinematheque, a blooper real (in color), and much more.

The film is rated PG so younger viewers can enjoy a film that seems like a lost gem from an era of so many bad movies riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000. This movie needs no riffing; it’s funny enough as it is.

Click here to see the 1950s style trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe9Fs10IIk0

The Sound of Silents-- Part 2

(Safety Last!, 1923)

This is Part Two of Two:

So much could be said about silent movies that books are still written on the subject; the topic is nowhere near exhausted. Should you watch silent movies? Of course! What kind? Well, what kind of movies do you like? Like movies from the modern era, there are dramas, comedies, romances, westerns, low-key tales and big-budget studio productions, and some are better than others. Some silent films are short running anywhere from 10-20 minutes, many of which are comedies starring Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Charley Chase, the Keystone Kops.

If you’ve never seen a film from the silent era, please expand your cinematic horizons and venture where generations of people before you have gone. But please remember that you’re watching a piece of history, a story for a people who did not have computers or televisions, and radio was still in its infancy. The world was still attracted to photographs, and then pictures began to move. Studios produced these moving pictures to thrill and excite people. Think of silent movies as foreign films because in a sense they are foreign to our modern sensibilities and to our expectations of entertainment.

Think of yourself not as a 21st century movie watcher familiar with digital downloads, but as an early 20th century person curious about this newfangled invention called moving pictures being shown in movie houses. After all, you know what stage plays are like, but what is this innovative device where a story can have scene changes within the blink of an eye? Where we can see an actor’s expression change as if we standing right in front of him? To move from England to the exotic desert as quickly as a thought, and back again?

So maybe you’re interested and would like to watch one of these classics from a bygone era. Where to start? Here are some suggestions:

The Phantom of the Opera (1925) starring Lon Chaney, the “man of a thousand faces.” One of the earliest versions of the famous story by Gaston Leroux. This movie is still creepy and features a wonderful unmasking scene.

Nosferatu (1922), the first film version of Dracula; this movie is a must-see for vampire fans. Nosferatu is hauntingly atmospheric with a rat-like bloodsucker. It still offers chills late at night.

The Passion of Joan of Arc (Le Passion de Jeanne d’Arc) (1928): If you want realism in a silent movie, look no further. Director Carl Theodor Dreyer wanted the film so real that the story was based on actual transcripts from the trial of Joan of Arc, the sets were created full size (not just cut-away typically done in the silent era), and none of the actors wore makeup. It was such a grueling experience that Maria Falconetti (Joan) vowed she would never make another movie, and she didn’t. But she gave us one of the best performances in screen history, conveying the passion and soul of Joan of Arc without the use of sound.

Metropolis (1927): This sci-fi film from Fritz Lang is more metaphorical than anything. A subterranean working class toil exhaustingly to provide for the upper class living above ground. A worker from below falls in love with a man from the higher class to lead a revolt. This film is a timeless message of the fight against oppression.

Intolerance (1916): We have Gone with the Wind, Ben-Hur, and Titanic, but this film set the stage for every epic film that followed. The movie cost a then unheard of amount of $2,000,000 (roughly $387,000 today) to shoot this film that runs almost 3 hours. The topic is the intolerance of “love’s struggle throughout the ages,” and it intercuts four different time periods: Ancient Babylon, the condemnation of Christ, St. Bartholomew’s Day in 1572 Paris, and modern America. The sets were so massive and influential that part of them were reproduced for the new Kodak Theatre Complex that opened in 2001.

The Kid (1921): Charlie Chaplin worked a year to develop this story of a tramp who raises an orphaned baby. Both funny and touching, this movie shows us how unexpected circumstances can transform our lives forever. Wonderfully ageless.

Sherlock Jr. (1924): Although not nearly as famous as Charlie Chaplin, many people consider Buster Keaton the better talent; much of his humor is based on sight gags as much as slapstick, maybe more. He directed himself in this movie of a film projectionist who wishes to become a detective. When accused of a crime he dreams of catching the culprit like a moving picture hero would. This movie features some of the best visual effects as he literally jumps from scenario to scenario, all decades before the invention of CGI graphics. Amazing and funny.

Safety Last! (1923): The third name in the silent film comedy trifecta after Chaplin and Keaton is Harold Lloyd. A country boy working as a clerk in a big city department store devises a way to bring customers into the store: Harold’s friend, a “human fly,” will scale the building, but when he vanishes because he’s secretly a fugitive from the law, Harold must do it himself… with hilariously disastrous results. A true comic classic.

The Sound of Silents-- Part 1

(The Passion of Joan of Arc, 1928)

This is Part One of Two:

In Billy Wilder’s 1950 classic Sunset Boulevard, Norma Desmond, a fading star from the silent era, tells playwright Joe Gillis “We didn’t need dialogue. We had faces!” Those of us in the 21st century find relating to the first films—those shot before the invention of sound—a very difficult task. And for good reason: it’s like comparing apples and oranges. But the films of today bear very little resemblance to the moving pictures of the 1970s or 1940s, much less to those of the early 20th century. How does a viewer of today approach those silent classics? Or do they discard them with the understanding that anything without sound is not worthy of modern viewing?

First of all, any belief that silent films should not be seen because they are too old is a misunderstanding. What is required is a little background in understanding films and filmmakers from about 100 years ago. The biggest mistake we often make is approaching these motion pictures from a bygone time with a modern mindset. Movies reflect the time in which they are made. There is no way around it. Current events affect movies. The films from the 1930s, after the Great Depression and before America’s involvement in World War II, are much different than the motion pictures that were being produced during the 1940s and 1950s, during and after the war. And as technology changes, so do they stories and movies. Imagine trying to film The Matrix in 1979 instead of 1999; that the very idea would exist is doubtful.

So imagine again filming a movie without computers, without color film stock—and without sound other than a theater’s organ accompaniment; these technological marvels simply did not exist yet. Just a few title cards to propel the story, to show dialogue and to clarify the plot. Silent movies are stories told visually. One of the best ways to contrast the dynamics of silent films with modern sound pictures is with the lyrics of the song “With One Look” by Don Black and Christopher Hampton from the musical based on the film Sunset Boulevard:

With one look I can break your heart

With one look I play every part

I can make your sad heart sing

With one look you'll know all you need to know

With one smile I'm the girl next door

Or the love that you've hungered for

When I speak it's with my soul

I can play any role

No words can tell the stories my eyes tell

Watch me when I frown, you can't write that down

You know I'm right, it's there in black and white

When I look your way, you'll hear what I say

Yes, with one look I put words to shame

Just one look sets the screen aflame

Silent music starts to play

One tear in my eye makes the whole world cry

Director D.W. Griffith was the first filmmaker to discover that camera close-ups with little acting could convey more emotion than the histrionic performances borrowed from stage acting. With one look, an actor could show happiness, love, heartache or disdain. The movements of the characters conveyed thought and intention. If a group of men walked slowly around the corner of a barn where a person waited and the leader of the group turned to the others and held his finger to his lips, we know that they were moving in stealth; what he actually said when his lips moved is unimportant. If it was important to the plot, a title card would appear on screen and tell us what he said. Otherwise, their actions are enough because the story was told visually.

Next time, Part Two...

Young Frankenstein

I was going to include this title in a previous segment of October Films, but ran out of room so I decided I would put it in Part 4. Then I had a comment from a friend who also suggested I add this one. It deserves its own article.
And why not? This movie is a classic, and although the term “classic” has appeared often in this blog series, it is the best word to define this 1974 comedy from director Mel Brooks.

Gene Wilder said he wrote the title down on a sheet of paper: Young Frankenstein; it was so funny he developed the story around it. The story, co-written with Brooks, is about the grandson of Victor von Frankenstein, Frederick, a neurosurgeon who has desperately tried to put the dreaded name of Frankenstein behind him even to the point of pronouncing it “Fronkensteen.” He inherits his grandfather’s castle and before too long finds Victor’s diary describing his work. Eventually, young Frederick realizes that “IT—COULD—WORK!”

But Frederick’s going to make sure his creation does not face the same fate as that of his grandfather’s; he’s going to use the brain of esteemed colleague Hans Delbrook. Of course, that doesn’t work out. However, there is a suitable replacement in a brain from an “Abbie Normal.”

Perhaps I should back up, particularly for people who (gasp!) have never seen Young Frankenstein. Gene Wilder is Frederick, Teri Garr is Inga, his assistant, and Marty Feldman is Igor (pronounced “Eye-gor”), Frederick’s… assistant (“My grandfather used to work for your grandfather… Of course, the rates have gone up”). And the creature is played by Peter Boyle, probably best known as Frank Barone, Ray Romano’s screen dad from the TV series Everybody Loves Raymond.

Brooks shot the movie in black-and-white and based the production design used in James Whale’s 1931 Frankenstein. One way he accomplished this was by acquiring Frankenstein’s original lab equipment from designer Ken Strickfaden. The scene when Frederick sees the secret laboratory for the first time feels like we have jumped back in time. That’s the mark of a great director. In that scene we even hear Victor Frankenstein’s voiceover as if the walls were talking. (However, that was not old audio of Colin Clive from 1931; it was director Mel Brooks.)

So the film is basically a comic variation of Universal’s Frankenstein with witty dialogue, sharp sight gags and lots of plain humor. “Stay close to the candles. The stairs can be quite treacherous,” and the candles are not lit. There’s even a song-and-dance number with Frederick and the creature performing “Puttin’ on the Ritz.” Young Frankenstein also has some of the most quotable movie lines of any film: “Help me with the bags.” “Fine. You take the blonde and I’ll the one in the turban!” Or, “Werewolf?” “There wolf. There wolf, there castle.” “Why are you talking that way?” “I thought you wanted to.”

Young Frankenstein is a rare film: It is a classic based on a classic. And it works. Even 35 years later, people watching this for the first time fall in love with it. Perhaps it’s because we almost feel like we’ve been transported to the 1930s, following in James Whale’s “vootstops” only to see jokes that are much more recent than that era. It’s a tribute that makes us laugh. And like the original movie it spoofs and honors, it is timeless. It’s a perfect movie for October, or any time of the year.

Films for October-- Part 3

Continuing a blog of dependable classic suspenseful films, this is part 3 in a series on October Films:

Shadow of a Doubt (1943): Alfred Hitchcock called this his favorite film. Little Charlie (Teresa Wright) is happy because her favorite uncle Charlie (Joseph Cotten), whom she named after, is coming to visit her in the small town where she lives. But is it possible he is really the hunted serial killer known as the “Merry Widow Murderer?” One of Hitch’s best!

Psycho (1960): Another Hitchcock classic, this one features a woman on the run, a reclusive motel owner and his overbearing mother, and a creepy old house. This movie still has people locking their doors when taking a shower! And Bernard Herrmann’s often-imitated score—using only stringed-instruments—adds the perfect touch to this gem.

Frankenstein (1931): After mentioning the 2004 Hallmark version we would be remiss to not suggest this Universal classic. Not to use the term “classic” too loosely, but this film has great atmosphere as well as Colin Clive as the definitive doctor, Boris Karloff as the definitive creature, and Dwight Frye (Dracula’s Renfield) as Fritz, the good doctor’s hunchbacked assistant. Don’t worry that this movie barely resembles the novel or is only an hour and eleven minutes long; director James Whale uses the time to craft a taut suspenseful movie for all time.

Bride of Frankenstein (1935): Four years later, Universal reunited Whale, Clive and Karloff in this sequel that, in many ways, is superior to the first film. Universal stock player Frye also returns as Karl, a grave robber, and Elsa Lanchester as the title character (and Mary Shelley in a prologue recounting the young lady’s idea for a sequel).

Horror of Dracula (1958): If Universal Studios set the standard for classic horror, then England’s Hammer Films redefined the gothic genre. This film, one of their first and best, is a loose retelling of Bram Stoker’s tale set in Germany with no shortage of colorful sumptuous production values. Peter Cushing is Dr. Van Helsing and Christopher Lee is the count, and both appear in several Hammer movies reprising the same roles.

The Thing (1982): This film is being chosen over its tamer first version for two reasons: (1) Master horror director John Carpenter behind the camera, and (2) this film is closer to John W. Campbell, Jr.’s story “Who Goes There?” about a shape-shifting alien who infiltrates a science research base in the arctic and kills the members one by one. But how do you fight a creature that could be your best friend standing next to you? And who do you trust? The movie keeps the same character names from the story (unlike the first film version, The Thing from Another World, although many feel is vastly superior), but delivers several scary moments although some of them are gory. Not for the faint of heart. But a must-see for fans that like a good story while being scared out of their wits. (Rated R)

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959): Okay, seriously, how can we discuss classic suspenseful movies and not bring this up? Or, how could we bring this up? Arguably one of the worst movies ever made, Ed Wood’s ultimate classic of alien resurrecting the dead has it all: Bela Lugosi (who died two days into filming), a stand-in who covers his face because his forehead was so much like Bela’s, falling cardboard tombstones, pilots who fly without hands on the controls, wooden acting, stock footage, an incoherent police detective, hubcap alien ships dangling from fishing line and corny dialogue. It’s so bad it’s funny. A great cheesefest when in the mood for a late, late movie.

Films for October-- Part 2

This is part 2 in a series on October Films, a look at dependable classic suspenseful films:

Dracula (1931): Tod Browning’s classic starring Bela Lugosi stands as THE definitive Dracula movie. It introduced the line “I don’t drink… wine” that did not appear in Bram Stoker’s novel, but appeared in countless incarnations of the Transylvanian count on film.

Frankenstein (2004): Yep, that date is right. I’ll probably catch flak for it, but as good as James Whale’s 1931 classic was, this 2004 Hallmark (?!) mini-series is the best version of Mary Shelley’s put on film. The 3-hour story captures Shelley’s novel in a way Branagh missed and gives enough time in its 19th century setting to set up the characters. Next thing you know, our well-meaning doctor has slipped to a place beyond his control. Yes, it is available on DVD. Stars William Hurt, Donald Sutherland, Alec Newman (SciFi's Dune and Children of Dune) as Victor Frankenstein and Luke Goss (One Night with the King) as the Monster.

House on Haunted Hill (1959): Another classic remade as a failure. And another William Castle classic. Vincent Price offers $10,000 each to five strangers if they spend the night in his creepy house. And that’s before the credits roll! A fun film to watch with someone late at night.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941): There are several versions of this film, but this one is distinctive because of the casting choices. Spencer Tracy as the good doctor and his evil counterpart, Lana Turner (the femme fatale from The Postman Always Rings Twice) as the kind Beatrix Emery and Ingrid Bergman (Ilse from Casablanca) as the fleshly-minded Ivy. But it works, especially in the hands of director Victor Fleming (The Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind).

The Stand (1994): Stephen King wrote the screenplay based on his epic novel about an apocalyptic battle between good and evil. Available on DVD and originally shown as a 4-part mini-series, this 6-hour opus has everything: great characters, suspenseful plot and cameos by King, Ed Harris (Needful Things) and Kathy Bates (Misery). (Not rated, but not suitable for the very young)

The Wolf Man (1941): Another Universal classic (like Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy and Creature from the Black Lagoon) about a man who turns into the titular creature. One of the first films to popularize the werewolf, but few later efforts captured the tortured soul like Lon Chaney, Jr. as the tormented Lawrence Talbot. Also stars Claude Rains (Universal’s The Invisible Man), Ralph Bellamy and Bela Lugosi as… Bela.

Vertigo (1958): Considered by many to be Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece, Jimmy Stewart redefines “obsessed” as an ex-cop-turned-private-eye while following the woman who may (or may not) be the reincarnation of her ancestor. Stewart’s character also battles acrophobia (the fear of heights), which naturally, interferes with the case. Great stuff remastered in all its full-color glory.

North by Northwest (1959): One year after Vertigo, Hitch gives us Cary Grant as the “wrong man” in the ultimate mistaken identity story. An ad man is innocently confused for a secret agent and is chased across the country, including one famous scene by a cropduster, and culminating in a chase at Mt. Rushmore. Also includes the lovely Eva Marie Saint, James Mason and a young Martin Landau.

Films for October-- Part 1

It’s October, a time when leaves change colors, when the weather gets cooler and people get ready for Halloween. Now I don’t celebrate Halloween myself, but I must admit I like suspenseful, scary movies; particularly the classics. I’m not talking about torture porn or bloodfests (basically, very little from the past 10 years). The fun thing about a lot of these movies are that you can watch (most of) them with your family (not the very young, of course, who will probably just get bored since most are in black-and-white). And many of them are playing on Turner Classic Movies this month (http://www.tcm.com/). Check the schedule as well as Netflix and your local video store.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956): This was remade in 1978 and again in 2007 as The Invasion, but nothing can top the original with Kevin McCarthy who, through a bookend framework, explains that aliens are replicating the inhabitants of a small town. One of the best of the 1950’s spook shows.

The Phantom of the Opera (1925): Yes, the silent film with Lon Chaney. Is the phantom psychotic or misunderstood, villain or victim? In this version, he's not the victim. And that unmasking scene still packs a jolt.

Nosferatu (1922): F.W. Murnau’s haunting classic was the first filmed version of Dracula (and done so without permission of the Stoker estate). Forget about Edward Cullen, Lestat or even Nick Knight; Count Orlock (whom Leonard Maltin calls “the ugliest vampire in film history”) is the reason we still look over our shoulders late at night.

The Blob (1958): Okay, how can you take a movie about a red gelatinous mass terrorizing a city seriously? It’s difficult, but our hero is Steve McQueen in his star-making role in the film whose theme song was written by Burt Bacharach! You could do better, but you could also do much worse.

Cat People (1942): Again, NOT the 1982 remake. This movie delivers some genuine thrills and suspense, mainly due to Nicholas Musuraca’s cinematography and Jacques Tourneur’s direction.

Part Two coming soon!