Marriage According to Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands love this verse. And because translators inserted chapters and verse numbers, certain parts of Scripture are easy to quote, especially when discussing a topic. Sadly, it’s easy to build a teaching or a doctrine and then use one of these handy number breaks as reference. But this entire section was written as one part regarding marriage within the body of believers. The first three verses apply to wives. Let’s examine them and see what the Holy Spirit was leading Paul to say.
Wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Why? Because the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church. And He is the Savior of the body. Let’s examine it this way:
Husband = head of wife
Christ = head of church
There is a parallel at work here. The relationship between man and wife on earth is similar to the relationship between God and believers. This should not be too surprising since Jesus explained the commandments like this:
Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, “Which is the first commandment of all?” Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12: 29-31)
First of all, love God. Once you love God, then you can have the conduit open to love your neighbor, those here on earth.
Understanding this structure is crucial to maintaining a Godly marriage. This instruction was for married believers. A man loves God. He has a spiritual relationship with God and is a follower of Jesus Christ. He is obligated to love God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. Now he can love his fellow human beings. He meets a woman who loves God. She, too, has a spiritual relationship with God and follows Jesus Christ. She loves God with her heart, soul, mind, and strength. She loves her fellow human beings and meets the man. These two have their relationships with God; now, they can live by His Word together, and His plan is that she submits to her husband as she has to God. This is only part of His plan.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
At first glance this may not seem like much of a commandment. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Usually the last part of a sentence is what resonates in our mind, and most men usually say “Of course I would give my life for my wife,” but we forget the first part of the sentence, the reason why giving our lives is even suggested: “Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church…”
How much did Christ love the church? Sure, He gave His life, but much more than that. His entire ministry, His life was for the believers. Everything he did or said was for the glory of God to the people on earth. He wanted people to know who He was, who God was, that they were loved even to the point of death. The last line of verse 25 reminds us that Christ “gave Himself for her.” He gave His life, His entire life on this planet for everyone on it. That’s love. Life until the point of death. Sometimes we think how easy it would be to die for God or our wives, but are we willing to live for God… and our wives? That’s what husbands are commanded to do.
The parallels continue in verses 25-29 as we see the relationship between man and wife, and Christ and believers; (1) that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, (2) that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but (3) that she should be holy and without blemish.
The husband’s job is help sanctify and purify his wife through the cleansing power of the word just like Jesus. The husband should present her without spot, wrinkle, or any such thing that would defile her. He is to help her stay holy before himself and God.
This is the duty of the husband, to live for God and for our wives just like Jesus lived to fulfill the Father’s wish and for his believers. You want to buy a bass boat? How will that benefit your wife? You want to buy a big screen television? What would be the advantage for your wife? You want to stay out a little late with some friends? How will that affect your wife? The role of the husband is to be a servant for the sake of the wife. And if the wife submits to him, he will succeed.
This is God’s plan. Genesis 2:18 says “And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” But the man is also to be a helper to the woman. By loving God we can love each other. When husbands and wives love each other—and submit to their respective roles—we draw closer to God.
The end of Ephesians chapter five, which quotes from Genesis chapter two, sums up the two roles of husband and wife, and why believers should adhere to God’s plan:
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands love this verse. And because translators inserted chapters and verse numbers, certain parts of Scripture are easy to quote, especially when discussing a topic. Sadly, it’s easy to build a teaching or a doctrine and then use one of these handy number breaks as reference. But this entire section was written as one part regarding marriage within the body of believers. The first three verses apply to wives. Let’s examine them and see what the Holy Spirit was leading Paul to say.
Wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Why? Because the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church. And He is the Savior of the body. Let’s examine it this way:
Husband = head of wife
Christ = head of church
There is a parallel at work here. The relationship between man and wife on earth is similar to the relationship between God and believers. This should not be too surprising since Jesus explained the commandments like this:
Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, “Which is the first commandment of all?” Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12: 29-31)
First of all, love God. Once you love God, then you can have the conduit open to love your neighbor, those here on earth.
Understanding this structure is crucial to maintaining a Godly marriage. This instruction was for married believers. A man loves God. He has a spiritual relationship with God and is a follower of Jesus Christ. He is obligated to love God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. Now he can love his fellow human beings. He meets a woman who loves God. She, too, has a spiritual relationship with God and follows Jesus Christ. She loves God with her heart, soul, mind, and strength. She loves her fellow human beings and meets the man. These two have their relationships with God; now, they can live by His Word together, and His plan is that she submits to her husband as she has to God. This is only part of His plan.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
At first glance this may not seem like much of a commandment. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Usually the last part of a sentence is what resonates in our mind, and most men usually say “Of course I would give my life for my wife,” but we forget the first part of the sentence, the reason why giving our lives is even suggested: “Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church…”
How much did Christ love the church? Sure, He gave His life, but much more than that. His entire ministry, His life was for the believers. Everything he did or said was for the glory of God to the people on earth. He wanted people to know who He was, who God was, that they were loved even to the point of death. The last line of verse 25 reminds us that Christ “gave Himself for her.” He gave His life, His entire life on this planet for everyone on it. That’s love. Life until the point of death. Sometimes we think how easy it would be to die for God or our wives, but are we willing to live for God… and our wives? That’s what husbands are commanded to do.
The parallels continue in verses 25-29 as we see the relationship between man and wife, and Christ and believers; (1) that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, (2) that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but (3) that she should be holy and without blemish.
The husband’s job is help sanctify and purify his wife through the cleansing power of the word just like Jesus. The husband should present her without spot, wrinkle, or any such thing that would defile her. He is to help her stay holy before himself and God.
This is the duty of the husband, to live for God and for our wives just like Jesus lived to fulfill the Father’s wish and for his believers. You want to buy a bass boat? How will that benefit your wife? You want to buy a big screen television? What would be the advantage for your wife? You want to stay out a little late with some friends? How will that affect your wife? The role of the husband is to be a servant for the sake of the wife. And if the wife submits to him, he will succeed.
This is God’s plan. Genesis 2:18 says “And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” But the man is also to be a helper to the woman. By loving God we can love each other. When husbands and wives love each other—and submit to their respective roles—we draw closer to God.
The end of Ephesians chapter five, which quotes from Genesis chapter two, sums up the two roles of husband and wife, and why believers should adhere to God’s plan:
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
